Joy in My Reflection

Joy is our family’s word of the year. We choose Joy. Yes, easy to say, and easy to “do”, but sometimes it’s not so easy to “feel”…at least for me.

As I write out my prayer this evening, to my Heavenly Father, I pray that I feel joy in my reflection. And I also pray that He be glorified through this prayer, and this post.

Heavenly Father, I come to you today. I want to praise you for your beautiful gifts. The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, spring is so near. What a glorious day. Lord I come to you at the end of the day, at the end of an exhausting day. A day where I don’t feel very joyful, and really I should be more than joyful. Lord, I ask for forgiveness in my moments of sin, for my moments of weakness. Oh precious Father, I praise you for your Grace. Lord I pray you shine through me, so that all glorifies you. I come to you this evening and want to share my thoughts, my moments, with others. I pray you lift me up, so that I can shine for you.

As I reflect on today, as I do at the “end” of most days, Lord, today I feel guilty.

Joy. Joy is our word, yet today, I didn’t do well at choosing joy. It’s so hard. So much seems to pile up Lord. The baby only slept 40 minutes all day. Nick has worked countless days and nights, and I don’t remember the last time he had a full day off. I can’t seem to get my house clean. I didn’t play with the big boys but for a few moments today. Am I pouring enough love into them? I feel over-committed in some aspects of my day. Lord, I haven’t had restful sleep in over a year. Why am I complaining, I am so blessed??? Lord, how can I be better for you? Lord, my heart is heavy for friends that are hurting. Heavenly father, who am I letting down today? Why is the enemy attacking so hard? Why don’t I enjoy each and every moment, because I know time is moving by so quickly? Lord, why are the days so long, yet the years so fast? Precious Father, am I following your path for my life?? Lord, how can you use me when I’m a mess myself?

I want to go back through these moments where I was feeling attacked, where I didn’t choose joy well. I want to choose joy now, Joy in my Reflection.

reflection

Lord, thank you for the trust you have in me to raise these children.

Lord, thank you for a husband who will literally do anything to provide for his family. Who works without grumbling, and who comes home with open arms to do anything he can to make my day easier. Wow, how did I get so lucky?

Lord, thank you for this house. Thank you for the laundry that clothes us, for the toys that entertain us, and for the mess that my children really don’t mind one bit. Lord I know I like a clean house, but thank you for the reminder at the end of the day, that I was able to clean one full room, and with a toddling baby right at my feet singing along with my “wanna-be” singing voice.

Lord, thank you for the memories of hiding Easter eggs in the neighbor’s yard, for our short dance party, for baseball chatter all day, and for a pretty competitive game of “war” tonight. Lord, thank you for the countless hugs, kisses, “I love you’s”, and baby rocking moments.

Lord, thank you for a child that loves me so much, he wants to be near me often. Thank you for this precious baby that is fully dependent on me, and I’m able to provide for him, because of you. Thank you for amazing health in spite of little sleep; for the supplements that work hard to keep me going strong, and for being by my side, even when I don’t recognize it.

Lord, thank you for a strong community of friends and family who remind me of your truth each and every day. For their encouraging conversations whether it be phone call, text, or in person. I couldn’t do life without so many wonderful people pouring into me…and they don’t even know it.

Lord, thank you for the roles you’ve entrusted me with; Wife, Mother, Homeschooling mom, Friend, Shaklee leader and business owner, Ministry partner…I only seek you in all I do to glorify you. I pray I follow the paths you have laid out for me.

Lord thank you for your Grace, when I fall flat on my face.

Thank you for the imperfect progress…for your holy hedge of protection around me…for fighting my battles for me…for paving the way…for working in ALL things…for loving me when I’m so broken.

Heavenly Father, I am sorry that I don’t trust you more in the messy moments. To be honest, sometimes I just don’t know how. But in my reflection, I see you in all things. I FEEL you in all things, and I choose joy in all things. Lord, choosing joy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect…it’s looking past all these imperfections and still choosing joy…even if it’s in my reflection.

I’m so thankful that God reminds me of the good, because at the end of the day, I made it, and all my babies went to bed happy. My husband has had a break in his workday to kiss on the kids, and to make me feel calm. Tomorrow will bring new challenges, but I’m refreshed, and God is working in me and through me. While I will continue to (work to) choose joy, and to choose joy in the moments, I will also be ok with Joy in my Reflection.

 

 

 

 

 

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