I should start with a disclaimer that I don’t have it all together and I don’t want this to convey otherwise. But what I have, is Christ alive in me, and I see glimpses of release and it’s for that, I celebrate! Here’s an example of Letting Go, and Letting God.
Anyone who can say aloud that they aren’t or have never been a hot mess may not appreciate this blog post. Because if I’m being honest, you’ll think this sounds crazy. But for anyone who ever has or currently feels like a whirlwind inside, and equally spinning on the outside, I hope this brings encouragement and hope!
“Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious.” Psalm 66:2
April is a FULL month at our house. We have Easter and then THREE birthday boys to celebrate! Adding that to the normal every day things like life, homeschooling, and running a business, alongside my husband’s crazy work schedule, I have often found myself feeling overwhelmed and defeated. When really it should be some of the best moments of celebration; THEIR LIFE!
As a matter of fact, I started finding myself feeling that way even when it wasn’t April. Have you ever felt conflicted? Like, you want to feel and often do feel one way, but act another? That was (and still is) me. I have such Hope in the life Christ wants for me, and such vision for the peace that overcomes me, but then I take control, and turn things into ONE. HOT. MESS. It’s like I don’t want to worry about worldly “things” and deep down, I don’t, but then for some reason, I find myself getting caught up in “things” that don’t really matter in the big picture!
As my faith grows, I constantly make a decision that I am not going to live so burdened by the “world” anymore. Each and every day I choose Joy and I choose for God to guide my steps. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, BUT in moments of reflecting after our boys’ birthday party last week, for example, I see Christ making such progress in my heart. (More to come in upcoming blogs on some of the action steps I took, and how God fills in the huge gaps!)
I decided this year for our boys’ birthday family celebration that I was going to be present, not pinterest. (This is in no way to knock anyone who thrives and loves pinterest, because you are amazing! I however, am so incredibly overwhelmed by the idea of a pinterest birthday or pinterest anything, that in the past, it’s ruined my Joy in celebrating!)
Can I tell you how much FUN we all had? I mean seriously, FUN! Old me would have been a stress ball, feeling pressure to have everything just right, not really interacting with the kids with the fear that I wasn’t keeping the party going smoothly and food filled just right, focusing on the “look” and the decorations, worried about the perfect spread of food and refreshments, and honestly, making it a much bigger deal (inside) than the kids really even cared about! Oh, silly me.
“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…” 1 Corinthians 14:33
So this year we chose simple. Tacos. I mean who doesn’t love tacos, right? Colors. Each boy chose a color for some simple decorations and supplies. Piñata. Silly string. Outside play. Kroger Cupcakes. One birthday banner. Lots of laughs. Lots of fun. Lots of peace. And I was PRESENT!
So, what changed? I gave up control. It’s exhausting to try to control everything. It’s exhausting to try and be “perfect” (because I will never be perfect!) It’s crazy to get so caught up in the worldly things that I lose sight of Jesus and what He has right in front of me. Family. Love. Happiness.
“Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10
As I felt completely joyful after the boys’ birthday party, I just had to get it in writing. Because I know I will still try to take control of things and lost sight of what really matters. And really, writing is a great way for me to process and then have answered prayers to refer back to. Even if I forget some of these small things, what I won’t forget, is the feeling of Christ alive in me!
When we let go of ourselves, and accept Him, things just change. An inner peace that I can’t even express is just, there. Even in the hard moments of the day, when maybe the kids are fighting, when school is rough, when hubby hasn’t been around much, when I’m behind in my business, when life is life…I still am able to remember the peace that Christ fills me with, and after a couple of deep breaths, I just feel calmer. (Trust me, even just one year ago; this was so not the case!)
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit.” Romans 15:13
So I will keep choosing to Let Go, and Let God! Letting go of what truly doesn’t make or break the day, and continuing to let God change me and my heart.
What is holding you down today? What are you still holding on to and trying to control that is stealing your Joy? For me, it’s myself. My own desires that don’t really fulfill myself or anyone. How about you? Have you given it to Christ? Let’s choose to do this together. Because I know the best is yet to come!
Now I’m going to enjoy the rest of this gorgeous Sunday. I’m going to relax in the sun, and for the first time(s) in my life, I’m feeling ok that the house isn’t perfect inside and I have many things to do, because today, I’m taking a day to rest. And today, I’m celebrating Christ the living Hope! Today, I’m refreshed. Today, I’m celebrating imperfect progress. Today…oh what a glorious day.