Do you ever get in a funk? I mean a self-pity, clouded vision, lack of motivation, funk? I’d love to say it’s never happened to me, then again, if it didn’t then I may not be writing about it! I’ve been there. It’s hard. It’s like, you know you don’t like the negative thought pattern, and you tell yourself to stop, but then it keeps coming back. It’s a cycle of hope, battle of the mind, guilt, repentance, hope, battle of the mind, guilt, repentance…pure brokenness.
Have you ever prayed and looked so hard for an answer but miss it? Maybe because you were looking for the wrong answer? MY answer to the prayer? And have you ever missed so many gentle nudges that when you look back you’re like, “wow, how did I miss that?” I’ve been there, too.
Have you ever felt the peace that comes when you finally get it and can say thank you, God? All of the sudden gushes of emotions come over you and you are in complete awe? You finally begin to see how all of the unanswered prayers begin lining up the true answer that was there all along? Isn’t that wonderful?
I recently experienced all of these. I was doing all of the things that I knew to do. Pray like I mean it, and listen like I want it. I dove into the word more and more because I was so hungry for it. I would get in my funk and cry out for God to help me see more of Him and less of me. But it’s like this cycle of funk continued. I’d ask others to pray about it, listen to podcasts and praise music, read books, I’d complain, ask for forgiveness, praise Him, quote scripture; I mean, I was trying my best. But I was missing His answer through it all.
Yes, through all of these things He was showing and asking me to give Him the keys. If you notice how I explained my brokenness, I was so focused on me and my strength. I would say I gave it to Him, but I kept taking it back, kept trying to steer. But the truth is, even if I’m the driver, God holds the map. And in order to really follow/hear Him, I had to give Him the keys.
I had a wake-up call, after God showed me in multiple instances, that I didn’t have to keep praying what I was praying about. He just wanted me to give Him the keys, and take a step in faith. Scary. But awesome. Sounds simple maybe, but it took some refining for me to appreciate that answer.
When a breakthrough happens it’s this feeling of relief and excitement. All of the sudden there are so many mental breakthroughs that happen and there is so much clarity. So much inner peace. So much love and praise. A deeper breath than you’ve been able to take. So much that you want to just Be Still and take it all in.
A wise friend recently told me that she notices some of these times are when God is refining. I couldn’t agree more. But it was such a wonderful reminder. (prayer warriors in my life, thank you for speaking truth into me)
In life we all know that there are periods of refining that happen. What I’ve learned is that I may feel lots of things, but the only way to experience the spiritual growth that he desires is to cling to truth. When we invite Christ into our lives fully, it doesn’t mean that everything becomes easy. I used to say I wish it did mean that, but now I can truly say that I’m so thankful for the refining. I’m thankful for the trials. I’m thankful that He allows me to become so broken that I’m able to see what He wants to strip me of. I’m thankful that His word tells of His promises that He is faithful to.
When I look back at this funk that I was in, I also look back and see that Christ was with me in the midst of it all. While I may have had moments that I felt differently, the truth is He never leaves us. And while I didn’t get the answer I was expecting, I can continue to expect God to be right there. He will give the answers in His timing, so I will keep giving Him the keys, and acting in Faith accordingly.
Think about how you’re feeling today and what you’re praying about. Is He gently showing you an answer, but maybe you’re not hearing it? Are you missing something that could be a breakthrough? He’s ever so faithful. He hears us. He answers. We must keep seeking and trust. Because refining will come again. Thankfully.