So Much Noise. Self-helping Myself Crazy

Can there be too much of a good thing? I’m sure the answers we would get when asking 20 people that question would vary. Even my own answer could vary based on what “thing” I was talking about.

So how has this question had such a powerful impact on me right now? Can you try to improve too much? Can you read good books too much? Can you get too much valuable input? Can you have too much noise? Can YOU try to be too much?

There is so much noise. Even good things have created so much noise. I have found over the years that I get very easily over-stimulated. I noticed it in my kids, and that’s actually how I noticed it in myself. (Funny how God shows us!) I found that after very busy days, I almost had a brain hangover, we called it. So much noise. Loud days would transform into loud weeks and before I knew it, I started feeling this over-stimulation, brain hangover, more than I didn’t.

But why? All the things were good. I had created margin for our day. I had learned to say no. I had discovered triggers that pushed me into this brain hangover. I had been improving in so many areas that I felt the need to grow in. And I had prayed about all of them so WHY was I starting to feel this anxiety when I was also feeling such peace?

So much noise.

Podcasts. Books. Input. Social Media. Radio. Laughter. Phone conversations. Stimulants, good or bad, they were creating so much noise because I had allowed them to cloud the TRUTH of who I am.

glenn-carstens-peters-190592-unsplash

I have been self-helping myself into crazy. I was taking in too much self-help, even though it was good, and it was overpowering the truth of who I am in Christ. I began ranking my worth by how well I measured up to the things I wanted to change in the first place. Craziness. The reason I was drawn to some of the podcasts, books, and social media profiles in the first place was encouragement not comparison. I already know comparison is the thief of joy. I don’t (intentionally) compare. I can celebrate differences in myself and other women and be ok and excited with who I am. God made us different on purpose for His purpose. These things I know. So why the shift in over-stimulation? Why the brain hangover? Why the confusion?

With anything, when we try to take matters in to our own hands, intentionally or not, God will humble us. I’m guilty. I’m getting better at praying about something and asking God to work in my life. Sometimes, I’m really good about “letting go and letting God.” But I also still struggle with pride, not intentionally, and it catches up with me.

I am good at seeing my flaws. God is good at showing me who I am in Him. I am good at wanting to change. God is good at changing me in His time. I am good at being inpatient with the progress and rushing results (also unintentional of course).

Anyone else? Anyone else feeling like you have too much of a good thing and you may just need to slow the noise?  Is it good or is it God? I had to ask myself that, and it even took my sweet husband showing me that I have a lot of self-help going on. Are we letting God do the help?

I still think all the things I have are good. There are awesome podcasts I will still listen to, books I’ll keep reading, and conversations I’ll continue having.  But I see that my heart isn’t letting God do the work. I am trying to be good, but am I letting God do the work? I’m trying to control the refining in my time. But His promises remain true. Am I feeding those good things to my mind? More than the self-help? Am I allowing quiet or filling it with good noise?

I am being transformed. 2 Corinthians 3:18

I am capable. Philippians 4:13

I am gifted with power, love & a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I am complete in Christ. Colossians 2:9-10

In Jenni-fashion, I took too much of a good thing. Good intentions. Good resources. They are even God-focused. But when I hurry the process, when I have so much noise, I am not letting the quiet guide me. The true, peaceful, transformation. While not always easy, and not without growing pains, but also not in my control.

God is always a breath of fresh air. He will help us find the balance of waiting patiently through refining and walking in active faith. I’m so thankful for His good pouring over my control. Such a breath of fresh air in all this noise.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

 

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
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